To say that this is because of "what one woman has done to me" seems to me that the whole point of the post was missed... as I thought about it, it turned from a short reply to another post.... surprise!
I simply cannot see how my post would leave you to believe that I think they will always end badly I think you're reading more to it than I intended.
I've not arrived at this understanding of love merely over one failed relationship. I've observed literally hundreds and only know of a few that have worked. I've read multiple books, listened to audio books out the wazoo... and since my work seldom demands all of my attention, I've literally puzzled on this very thing for 1000's of hours!
I believe romantic love is a wonderful thing, in moderation and without obsession. My understanding of its "mechanics" does not lessen my appreciation of a successful partnership! It certainly doesn't make me disbelieve in Love. I may as well claim to not believe in the internet. Love really is nearly mechanical, regardless of what sort of "magic box" or fairy tale definition one chooses to explain it. It has measurable elements and predictable results from given inputs. I just see as amazing what others insist to be wonderful. Two different words with different meanings that are very nearly the same.
A roller coaster is no less thrilling to ride for the engineer that designed or the workmen that built it than any given passenger.
My understanding of how my car's mechanical components and they interact doesn't cheapen or render my appreciation of my driving experience "less meaningful". On the contrary, my understanding of these things gives me confidence in it's performance ability, and what dangers to avoid due to it's limitations! It also makes me more attentive and understanding to the symptoms of improper function. Imagine how useful this would be in correlation to your own mind and behaviors!
So many people who are "religious" or "spiritual" wonder about the meaning of life, or "why am I here" and my biological, robotic understanding of human life makes this question extremely simple to answer.
Since I have no confusions about mysterious after-lifes, or reincarnations, I have only the present and a finite future to worry about. Why am I here? Simple. I am a father. I have two children. Right now the reason I am here it to take care of them and lay the mental foundations and educations to make them content, mentally balanced adults and productive members of the planet. All other things are of secondary importance, unless they may jeopardize that goal, of course. When I get done, or by chance along the way, should love cross my path again, as a result of this failed relationship and my intense study of it, I will be more likely to identify a mismatch before heartbreak ensues. I will certainly be more appreciative of the right person than I would If I had no appreciation for the incredible odds that have been overcome! etc.
I mean, since I am really just another animal. If I were, say a bird and I found myself in a bad relationship with eggs in my nest, what would I do?
I put it to you that a definition of one's self that is predictable and mechanical in nature is not less magical than one involving a divine creation, or some frilly wispy spirit with loftier destinations. Sentient beings auto assembled from scratch, from the very dust of the earth.... that's beyond magical. It's astronomically dumbfounding! To me it is, just contemplating the odds is a religious experience for me.
I do not disbelieve in the existence of Love. I understand it and its pitfalls and powers. When it comes my way, I'm going to most certainly buckle my seat belt and keep my hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times... but it sure is gonna be fun!
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