Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Why do we say mean things to people we love?

i think the reason we do these hurtful things is rather biological. I do not intend to step on anyone's religious toes, but have embrace evolution theory, and it just meant I had to roll back the clock as to when the universe began, not who created it.... that said, and roll with it, pretend the theory of an 4 billion year old earth could exist... (an attempt to dodge theological debate entirely)

We're primates All social primates are obsessed with their social position in the troupe. It is important to us for the rest of the troupe to respect us, etc.

as I understand it, we are programmed for love at a level so deep in the ancient core of our mammal brain that it is a mystical and thrilling experience. It's better than drugs when it's good.

But it is indeed like a drug. It will distract you from reality. It will make you blind to the truth. It can alienate you from your true friends. And it can lock on to the worst possible potential mate and for all the wrong reasons.

I say be very careful who you uncap the love potion with and take a drink, because it has a 6month plus withdrawal period, and some members of our species are like those birds that mate for life, once our love program locks on to one person, it never lets go (conversely, some people can brazenly change partners at the drop of their pants!)

Funny how people are

I do heat and air conditioning work for a living. It's not for everyone, I can tell you that. I probably wouldn't do it if I weren't brain damaged! I often find myself crawling under a mobile home on the lookout for brown recluses, black widows, snakes of various varieties, raccoons, armadillos, possums, cats dogs, all those types of poo and anything people consume or excrete as well.

Mike Rowe's got nothin on me.

Anyway, we install air conditioners in pre-existing houses and new construction as well, and service them. Our demographic ranges from millionaires to nearly indigent people that my honorable to a fault boss often takes a loss on his bill trying not to make them worse off than when we arrived for the bill. He runs such a tight ship that he hasn't made more than 25K in a year since I've known him, and he does $250,000 in business on most of those years. He's a good man. Our nation would be a better place if they had half his sense of honor.

It's funny how a millionaire will build a fence to hide his new air conditioner, and the pensioner's gather around theirs and brag on their neighbor's new units. It's odd how the people who "live like animals" will pay you in cash and you want to cut them a break, and how the millionaires complain for the same bill and pay by check, late.

It's funny to me how few people know how an air conditioner works! It's a magic box in the back yard that they either do not want the neighbors to know they have, or it can be a prized possession.

It's funny to me how people who are "educated" and earn ten times an hour what an air conditioner tech makes, and then piss and moan when you hand them a bill or fixing their air conditioner that is less than they earn in a day. (the parts really are very expensive, the "wholesalers" charge outrageous margins on made in china parts. If you live in a big city, and your fan capacitor burns out, the capacior costs less than 6 dollars. But it's made in china, for probably $.05 each, and then shipped around the world and sold or 10,000% markups, with three times the failure rate of a US made GE capacitor. If your computer circuit board goes out you'll pay $300 for something that could be made out of stuff from radio shack, by mexicans who earn a quarter an hour and probably costs $10 to manufacture and ship to the wholesaler. It's marked up $290, and then the technician has to add on the customary 30% plus the service charge and the labor..... and who does the work, I mean the real work. The people who's hands actually touch the product. The people earning the 10,000% markups have manicured hands and mansions, and the rest of us get thumpped a crumb.

Funny how people who don't get their hands dirty, spend 99% of their entire lives inside an air conditioned space earning $100 of dollars an hour, expect the guy outside sweating to repair their air conditioner to work for minimum wage... and hurry up because it's up to 80% inside.

Funny which of those two groups are the "celebrated" ones.

I take my hat off to the guy who picks up my garbage every Tuesday and Thursday!

"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

I take my hat off to the garbage man. He has moved a mountain. From my front yard, one garbage can at a time.

But I have to pay the Doctor $1500 to put 5 stitches in my finger?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Love at First Sight Pt., 2

To say that this is because of "what one woman has done to me" seems to me that the whole point of the post was missed... as I thought about it, it turned from a short reply to another post.... surprise!

I simply cannot see how my post would leave you to believe that I think they will always end badly I think you're reading more to it than I intended.

I've not arrived at this understanding of love merely over one failed relationship. I've observed literally hundreds and only know of a few that have worked. I've read multiple books, listened to audio books out the wazoo... and since my work seldom demands all of my attention, I've literally puzzled on this very thing for 1000's of hours!

I believe romantic love is a wonderful thing, in moderation and without obsession. My understanding of its "mechanics" does not lessen my appreciation of a successful partnership! It certainly doesn't make me disbelieve in Love. I may as well claim to not believe in the internet. Love really is nearly mechanical, regardless of what sort of "magic box" or fairy tale definition one chooses to explain it. It has measurable elements and predictable results from given inputs. I just see as amazing what others insist to be wonderful. Two different words with different meanings that are very nearly the same.

A roller coaster is no less thrilling to ride for the engineer that designed or the workmen that built it than any given passenger.

My understanding of how my car's mechanical components and they interact doesn't cheapen or render my appreciation of my driving experience "less meaningful". On the contrary, my understanding of these things gives me confidence in it's performance ability, and what dangers to avoid due to it's limitations! It also makes me more attentive and understanding to the symptoms of improper function. Imagine how useful this would be in correlation to your own mind and behaviors!

So many people who are "religious" or "spiritual" wonder about the meaning of life, or "why am I here" and my biological, robotic understanding of human life makes this question extremely simple to answer.

Since I have no confusions about mysterious after-lifes, or reincarnations, I have only the present and a finite future to worry about. Why am I here? Simple. I am a father. I have two children. Right now the reason I am here it to take care of them and lay the mental foundations and educations to make them content, mentally balanced adults and productive members of the planet. All other things are of secondary importance, unless they may jeopardize that goal, of course. When I get done, or by chance along the way, should love cross my path again, as a result of this failed relationship and my intense study of it, I will be more likely to identify a mismatch before heartbreak ensues. I will certainly be more appreciative of the right person than I would If I had no appreciation for the incredible odds that have been overcome! etc.

I mean, since I am really just another animal. If I were, say a bird and I found myself in a bad relationship with eggs in my nest, what would I do?

I put it to you that a definition of one's self that is predictable and mechanical in nature is not less magical than one involving a divine creation, or some frilly wispy spirit with loftier destinations. Sentient beings auto assembled from scratch, from the very dust of the earth.... that's beyond magical. It's astronomically dumbfounding! To me it is, just contemplating the odds is a religious experience for me.

I do not disbelieve in the existence of Love. I understand it and its pitfalls and powers. When it comes my way, I'm going to most certainly buckle my seat belt and keep my hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times... but it sure is gonna be fun!